Outward Appearances
by icywarm
Summary: Almost everyone wants Izaya Orihara dead... And one day, a group of people try and nearly succeed in killing him. Now, withing having loss the use of both of his arms, it's up to Shizuo to care for him. Mpreg. Rp with Seliphra
1. Chapter 1

Izaya Orihara twirled a knife between his fingers, flipping it back and forth, back and forth... surely there was a way out of this mess... He was completely surrounded you see. Not by friends either, but he rarely ever was... no, actually he never was. A few had crowbars, others knives... it was the gun that had him worried... He struck there first, the knife flying from his fingers though he was startled when another of them got him on the back of the head... he went down and they were on him faster than flies on poop. He was unconscious for a lot of it really, which was probably just as well for him. They beat him within an inch of his life, nearly every bone in his body was broken... and Izaya needed help. Much more than Shinra could ever provide.

It was the noise that attracted the blond ex-bartender over. Too much noise late at night. And it sounded like fighting. He walked over to the alley he thought it was from, only to see the last of whomever it was scurrying away, leaving a bleeding, broken body on the ground. "Tch..." Well, if the poor guy was alive, he couldn't just leave him. Really, Shizuo was sort of calm, right until he saw who it was. Izaya. His enemy. He was angry. He wanted to yell at the other... Though it'd do no good. Izaya was out cold. Bleeding and it seemed like he was struggling to breath. Also, it looked as if most of his bones were broken.

"...Idiot..." But he couldn't just leave the other there, his enemy or not. So, Shizuo pulled out his cell phone and called an ambulance. Shinra couldn't help Izaya with this. After hanging up, Shizuo sat down nearby. The idiot would need to be watched, until the ambulance got there. Izaya was entirely motionless until the ambulance crew arrived and they put Izaya in a neck brace before managing to adjust him so they could get him on the stretcher, strapping him in though they were already feeding him pure oxygen through a mask too. Of course given the nature of the call police were dispatched too and interested in Shizuo's accounts. They couldn't charge him of course... not unless Izaya woke up and said he had done it or he died which the doctors said was more likely.

But it wasn't Shizuo who had done it. He'd get pissed if he was wrongly accused. Still, after the questioning from the police, he headed home. Though, he also texted Shinra and Celty about the condition of Izaya. Shinra cause he was Izaya's friend, and Celty just because. Maybe it would have been better to tell the flea's family... But he didn't know how to contact them.

Izaya needed several hours of surgery, during which the hospital contacted his family. He didn't awake right after though, comatose it seemed, and that wasn't so good. It was two days after Izaya had been attacked though that Celty and Shinra both dragged Shizuo along to visit him. Shizuo had grumbled and complained, but come along anyway. There wasn't much Izaya could do in a beat up, comatose state. So it wasn't like the flea would make him angry. When they got there though it was probably a shock to see him as he was. Attached to a heart monitor, a tube down his throat so he could breathe... an IV for nutrition... and bandages everywhere. Both legs were casted as was his right arm and his left arm was bandaged up but everything below the elbow was missing now. His skin was bruised up too, all over the place.

"Oh wow..." Izaya... He was really hurt, huh? Really, Shizuo found himself glad that he had found the raven. Else, Izaya would have died. After glancing around, he went ahead and took a seat.

Shinra shook his head, "Damn it... he really got himself into it this time huh?" He sat beside Shizuo quietly.

"Yeah... I guess so. I mean, when I found him, I also saw a few people running away. But more than a few would be needed to put the flea into this condition."

Celty sat down quietly beside the two. [I hope he'll be alright] She said, [Much as I dislike the guy he didn't deserve this...]

The blond nodded. "Yeah. I agree Celty... Wonder when he'll wake up and how he'll react to that." That meaning his amputated arm.

"He'll take it pretty hard..." Shinra sighed, watching Izaya's motionless body. A nurse came in just then to write down Izaya's vitals, taking his temperature too before heading back out again. Every hour they did this as Izaya was in intensive care and still in life threatening condition.

After about two hours of this, Shizuo stood. "I'm leaving now. This... It's just staring at the flea and I don't like it. Drag me here again when he wakes up."

"Shizuo..." Shinra said softly, "He might not wake up..." He had taken a peek at the charts earlier and he had seen what state Izaya was in.

Frowning, Shizuo turned to look at his friend. "What do you mean he might not wake up?"

"Shizuo... Izaya's charts... they don't think he'll live much longer... and his white cells are elevated, he has a fever too but they aren't sure what's wrong yet there... his body is in bad shape... "

Shizuo's frown only deepened... "Shinra... Then you figure out how to fix it. You're a doctor too." Not licensed, but a doctor all the same.

"I can't Shizuo... I'm sorry but... Izaya will probably hold on for a couple of days more and then..." Shinra shook his head.

The blond scowled. That wasn't how flea's worked. A flea never left. They were always there. "Like I said. Drag me back here when he wakes up." And then, without waiting for a reply, he stomped out of the hospital.

Shinra sighed softly and shook his head. Izaya was definitely worse come morning too, his heart rate was starting to fluctuate between beating slowly, as though it were a struggle and racing fast, like it was trying to make up for the slow periods. His temperature was climbing steadily too, and his breathing was more laboured than the day before. Instead of waiting for Shinra to drag him there when Izaya was awake, the blond came by after work the next day, and frowned when he saw the raven. He was definitely worse... But that wasn't right. Something had to be up...

People in hospitals were supposed to get better after all, not worse. But Izaya seemed to be struggling for every breath he took now, his heart was struggling... of course it was possible he had an infection that was on the surface... but with all the bandages and casts who knew? Shizuo frowned... Maybe Izaya did have an infection under the cast. But how the hell was he supposed to know that? Oh. He could ask a nurse about it next time one came in. She ignored him really though, telling him it was impossible, Izaya had been thoroughly cleaned and his wounds well disinfected before the cast went on. He frowned, but didn't argue. Oh well... But, with them not checking... Hopefully, some sort of miracle would happen... Else Izaya would...

Izaya was still in poor condition when Shizuo left and just as poor the next day, his fever though... the doctors were very worried about it.

"I don't like this... Flea... You're supposed to be strong..." Shizuo sat on Izaya's right side before frowning. Something smelled... Wrong. Like... Something smelt rotten... Not rotten... Weird.

When a nurse came in, Shizuo stood. "Excuse me... But Izaya's arm... smells strange. And the order is strong enough to where I can smell it just from sitting next to him."

"Casts always smell," She said, not realizing Shizuo had suffered many broken bones in his life.

He frowned at that. Alright. He'd have to explain it. "I know casts smell. I was always in one till middle school. It doesn't smell like that. I guess the only way I can describe it is rotten, but it doesn't actually smell like something rotten." If that made any sense.

She frowned now and moved over taking a whiff. That smell definitely wasn't right so she left to get a doctor who came and looked too now. They had to break the cast off early now to make sure but it was obvious what was wrong. One of the incisions on Izaya's arm had become infected... and not just infected. It was turning black and spreading up his arm and the scent off his arm was vile. The doctor ordered immediate surgery and a stretcher was in there to move him to the operating room in minutes.

Shizuo, of course, was booted the waiting room. Though, he didn't mind. He had just found out why Izaya was getting worse, and now, they'd fix it. Still, he was nervous... And arm shouldn't be black like that... And the smell... It had been horrible. He needed to chat with something.

[Hey Celty.] So he texted Celty.

[Hey, what's up Shizuo?] She replied. She was on her way to visit Izaya now as it was along with Izaya's sisters.

[Uh... Izaya's in surgery again. I decided to visit him again anyway, and then there was this really awful smell...] He sent that before the next text [So when a nurse came in, I told her, and she got a doctor who cut open Izaya's cast. The one for his right arm... And it was all black...] Okay. So this wasn't really working out the way he wanted it to. But, he supposed he wanted _someone_ to know.

[On my way now. You in the OR Waiting room?] She asked now.

[Yeah. They pushed me out here. Since he's in surgery now. See you when you get here, I guess.] Now, he pocketed his phone and took a seat. He may have just saved Izaya's life... for a second time.

Celty was there soon with Mairu and Kururi in tow and they sat down beside Shizuo, both very quiet. They normally didn't act like they cared, but Izaya was their brother in the end. Shizuo chewed his lips. Well... At least they'd see their brother, at least. After awhile, a nurse came out, telling them that they could visit Izaya again. After standing, Shizuo held both Mairu and Kururi's hands. Then, they went in to see him.

He was still in very poor condition, but the right cast was gone now... so was all of his right arm, right up to the shoulder. Now Izaya had lost both his arms... if he did wake up he would be very upset. The blond swallowed and walked forwards, causing Izaya's sisters to walk forward as well.

"Whoever it is that did this..." They had wanted Izaya dead. They wanted him pained. And Shizuo... Shizuo hated them.

Kururi let out a soft whimpering sound and Mairu hugged her sister close though she looked upset too.

"Shizuo-san... why did they want to kill him... what did he do to deserve this?" Izaya might be a jerk and sometimes people got hurt because of him... but never like this and no one had died because of him either.

"I don't know... I mean... I chase him around, but I almost never hit him... And I certainly don't hurt him... Whoever this was... Maybe they were a type of Yakuza who didn't like that he was an informant?" Izaya did help the Awakusa-kai. And they would have rivals.

"He... he got hurt cuz of his job then?" Mairu sniffed softly. Izaya's vitals were still all out of it and he was receiving a blood transfusion now too.

"Maybe... I don't see any other reason for him getting this beat up. No one hates him that much." He knelt down, so that he was level with both Mairu and Kururi. "Don't worry though. I found him, and then I found out what it was that was making his condition worse. And, when he wakes up, if you two want, I'll help him." After all, Izaya wasn't a threat anymore. And without arms... it really would be hard for the raven.

They both nodded and then hugged Shizuo too. "Shizuo... we're scared..." Mairu whimpered softly and Kururi shook lightly.

"I know... But... It'll be alright, okay? I'll visit Izaya each and every day. And, if he gets worse, even a little bit, I'll let you two know." They both nodded, knowing Shizuo would take care of their brother.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Shizuo kept his promise, and visited Izaya after work. In fact, he visited the raven every day after work. Several weeks passed like this, and really, Shizuo found it to be too quiet. He didn't like the thought... But chasing Izaya around and just having him around kinda was fun... In a very weird sort of way. And now life just felt... different. So here he was... Sitting next to the comatose male. He had gotten better, instead of worse. So that was a plus. Most of the bandages were off, including the casts by now, the tube into his lungs had been changed to just a mask and his heart was perfectly fine too, enough that the monitor had been removed.

Today something had changed though. He kept trying to open his eyes but no one was around to see... they felt glued shut.

Shizuo was there, though it took him awhile to realize it. Izaya's eyes were moving... Like he was trying to open them! He jumped up to go and find a nurse or a doctor. Simply waiting around for one to show up would be of no help to Izaya.

A nurse came right away when Shizuo told her what was happening too and sure enough she nodded, "Yes, he's definitely trying to wake up... that's a good sign... he should be awake soon, next hour or so though he may have suffered amnesia, he took a good whack there..."

The blond nodded. "Alright... Well, I can stay for that period, to see if he has. Thank you." With that, he sat down again, to wait for the raven to wake.

"Call us when his eyes open alright?" She said, leaving the room.

It was another half hour when Izaya finally managed to open his eyes. He couldn't focus... he felt so damn heavy...

The blond swallowed. He should call the nurses... but that'd be overwhelming after just waking up from a coma, wouldn't it. He'd talk with Izaya for a few minutes, and then call them. "Guess you're healed enough to be awake, flea."

Izaya blinked blearily, his vision was all blurry... he glanced over, not really sure who was there.

"Mnnooorr youu?" He couldn't speak properly yet either and he wasn't sure where he was just yet...

"...I have no idea what you're trying to ask, Izaya." Well, he did just wake up from a coma. Oh well. "I guess I should get the nurses instead of chatting a bit." He stood then, but didn't leave quite then.

Izaya's eyes were beginning to race over the room in panic. He didn't know where he was, he didn't remember much right now. Another stream of slurred words escaped him now too.

Shizuo sighed. Yeah. It'd probably be best to get a nurse, which he went to do right now. Really, he found one quickly. This was a hospital, after.

"Uh... Izaya's awake. And I think he's panicking. He can't really talk right now, so I don't know."

A nurse came and they checked his pupil dilation though it was tough with him moving now, and he was clearly panicking. It took a few of them when he started really squirming and struggling with what was happening. They wound up having to sedate him too.

The blond just waited to the side as he did. This was... It was sad. Izaya like this... Sure, he hated the other... but still...

"It would seem he may have suffered some brain damage, he doesn't seem to understand where he is and he can't speak properly either." One told Shizuo,

"I see... When do you think those will clear up? I mean... I can explain to him where he is and what happened... But when should he be able to talk and when should the brain damage heal?"

"Brain damage doesn't always heal. The brain is an incredibly complex organ and we aren't even sure how everything in there works yet. We can work with him, but the fact is we don't know how bad the amnesia is. We're not sure yet that he knows his own name."

Shizuo glanced down. Shit. This was hard. This was stupid. And... And poor Izaya. "I know him a bit. And I know his sisters. If you want to know how bad the amnesia is, I can call them and have them come over. Or I can just chat with him... And you never answered when he should be able to talk again... Unless you aren't sure when and if he will?" This was so confusing... He hated it.

"We don't know if he will at all. It's a complex area though he should manage to relearn with a speech therapist." She said and left Shizuo to call whomever he needed to.

Again, Shizuo just swallowed. Oh... His family needed to know this... Izaya...

After shaking his head, Shizuo pulled out his phone and dialed up Mairu's number. Mairu picked up and when everything was explained she got her parents and sister and the lot of them headed over to see Izaya.

Shizuo waited for them, considering that he knew the twins and that he was the one who had saved Izaya and informed Mairu about the matter. And when they arrived, Shizuo led them to the raven's room. After... He was unsure about what to do.

When Izaya woke again he wasn't as confused at least, certainly not as panicked. He was still groggy though and he still hadn't realized he was short two limbs. Well... technically one and a half limbs.

Mairu and Kururi approached him first, although, a bit hesitantly. "Iza-nii...?" Would he recognize them at all?

He smiled weakly and it seemed the speech trouble was caused from not using his tongue and voice too long.

"Hey..." He mumbled weakly.

Both Mairu and Kururi perked up at that, glad that their brother could talk and that he recognized them. "Iza-nii... How do you feel?" Mairu asked this while Kururi climbed up on the bed to cuddle with the raven.

"Heavy..." He mumbled softly, feeling weak still, he tried to hug Kururi but nothing happened even though he felt his arm move.

Kururi frowned before getting off of the bed. "...Gone..." She meant his arms.

Izaya frowned, now, his eyes finally seeing his missing arm. It was gone... he reached with the other to feel but all that was left was a stump and now he stared at that too. He swallowed hard, though he hid his emotions well enough. "Oh..." He murmured.

Both of his sisters hugged him now, trying to be reassuring. "Iza-nii... You've been unconscious for a long time. And it scared us."

"Almost died..." You almost died.

"Ah... I' sorry I scared you..." He mumbled. He didn't remember what happened... he remembered being in Ikebukuro, turning down an alleyway... and then blackness.

Both girls just hugged him some more, until Mairu spoke. "Shizuo-san saved you, Iza-nii." Izaya would have died without the blond there.

"Shizu-chan did?" He asked, surprised by that and he looked over at Shizuo now.

The blond just nodded, not saying anything at the moment. Now was a time for Izaya and his family to be together. Not for him to chat with the flea.

"Yeah. He did. Or you'd be dead, Iza-nii."

"...Twice..." Twice. Because of that infection Shizuo had also caught.

Two times... He nodded quietly and for the duration of his families visit he was happy, or seemed that way anyways.

But, after awhile, they left. Leaving Shizuo and Izaya alone in the hospital room. "...You're upset."

"Why did you save me?" He dropped the happy act once they were gone, glaring at Shizuo now. Shizuo should have left him... should have let him die... his life was over now.

"Because you were bleeding and broken in some alleyway. I wasn't just going to leave you like that." Sounded like Izaya would have preferred to die. Well... Both of his arms were gone now, so it was understandable.

"You should have let me die..." Izaya mumbled softly, tears pricking his eyes now. "I can't do anything... I'm a dead man Shizuo, they'll kill me!" He couldn't work like this and he knew too much...

The blond crossed his arms. "You still can do stuff. You just have to learn without your arms. And they won't kill you." Because he had already promised Mairu and Kururi that he'd help Izaya. Though, he supposed Izaya would need to know that.

"I know too much Shizuo, people will come to put a bullet in my brain. I am a dead man already but now I have to suffer? Through this... this humiliation!" He would have motioned to his missing arms if he could.

"Izaya, you didn't ask for them to be cut off. And they won't put a bullet through your brain because, when you first went into a coma, I promised your sisters I'd protect you. So quit acting like this is the end of the world. Worse could have happened to you."

"No Shizuo! Worse could not have happened! Death would have been better!" He was crying and he couldn't even wipe his own tears.

He growled a bit, getting angry at it. "Your legs could be damaged. You might not have been able to talk. You might have lost your ability to gain new memories. You could have had amnesia. Don't say that worse couldn't have happened and death would have been better, because it wouldn't have been true."

"I think you're being selfish because you just woke up from a coma and from nearly dying. You

care about your sisters, right? Yes. You do. And you don't have any idea how upset they were when it was just a possibility that you could have died."

Izaya glared at Shizuo, "You really don't get it... this? It's just a honeymoon. Soon as I'm out the Awakusu-kai will come and give me a little gift I really won't wake up from. I died as soon as they took of my fucking arms... I can't... I c-can't d-do anything n-now!"

Shizuo sighed before walking over to Izaya and taking a seat next to him. "Don't say that, Izaya. There's plenty you'll be able to do. I'll even help you with your job. There's gotta be a way you can just ease out of it. Especially since you just stopped working for over a month already."

Izaya swallowed, trying to wipe his eyes but remembering he didn't have arms any more. He wanted to throw something and he couldn't even do that much.

Again, Shizuo sighed before going to grab a tissue. Then, he wiped the raven's eyes for him. "There. You have to feel at least a bit better after getting that all out."

Better... no. He felt like shit. He just wished he hadn't woken up... he wished he had just died... that Shizuo hadn't been in the right place at the right time.

Shizuo sighed lightly. "Maybe you should get some rest, flea. I'll help you when you're out. But until then, you're stuck in here."

Izaya was still clearly upset. He hadn't wanted any of this at all... he hated it... He didn't know what to say either. He knew that most people would say thank you... Izaya wasn't grateful though that Shizuo had saved him.

After sighing yet again, Shizuo stood up. "Seriously, get some rest. I'm heading home, but I'll be back tomorrow after work. See ya." And with that, Shizuo left.

Izaya was listless... now that he was awake he had to eat solid food but the nurses had to feed him since he couldn't do it himself. He hated this even more... he was helpless like this.

Just like the blond had said, he came to visit Izaya again the next day, after he finished working. "I'm assuming that you aren't feeling any better, flea."

"Why should I feel better?" Izaya grumbled softly.

"I didn't say you should feel better. I said that I assumed you aren't feeling any better."

"No. I'm not." He said stiffly.

"I wouldn't either." After all, both of his arms were gone, and he had been in a coma for over a month. Izaya also couldn't do anything himself. "Wonder when you're allowed to go home." And when he'd have to practically stay with Izaya 24/7 to care for him.

"Two weeks..." They wanted to fit him for prosthetics but they wouldn't be the same either... Izaya didn't want them. He just wanted to die... at least with them he could kill himself more easily... he hoped.

Shizuo nodded. "Alright. Two weeks and then you can go home. Two weeks at a hospital isn't that bad." Well, he didn't think so. And it wasn't' when compared to how long he was in hospitals as a kid.

Izaya gave him a non-committal grunt. A lot of those two weeks they would be teaching him to use his new arms though and he wasn't looking forward to it.

Now, the blond fell silent. It was more awkward for him to visit, now that Izaya was awake. Oh well. He could sit there in silence. Izaya was withdrawn and quiet the entire time, and in an uncharacteristically bad mood. He was ignoring Shizuo for the most part too. And when it was time for him to leave, Shizuo muttered a quiet 'bye' before leaving.

The next morning they attached the prosthetic arms, state of the art but Izaya didn't like it. They were hard to work and clumsy and Izaya felt like an idiot. By the end of the two hour session he was frustrated and annoyed and they took them off before Shizuo got there.

So Shizuo didn't really see them. Or, at least he didn't see Izaya wearing them. The arms were still in the room. Again, that visit was just silent. And when it was time to leave, he left.

Izaya was grateful in a way for the company. Not that he would tell Shizuo.


	3. Chapter 3

The same thing happened day after day, until it was time for Izaya to go home. Shizuo arrived at the hospital, so that he could help the raven. And really... He didn't feel hate for Izaya anymore. It was... He felt pity instead. Not even Izaya had deserved losing both of his arms. Also, despite the prosthetic arms, Izaya would still need help.

A lot since he wasn't learning how to use them very fast. In fact he was plain terrible at it. He couldn't manage them at all, though he had a worse time with the right arm than the left. Probably because Izaya's right arm was only a shoulder nub, while his left was a nub at his elbow.

When Shizuo arrived, he sighed and signed some papers for Izaya. Then, he called a taxi and had them both driven to the raven's loft. They had given Shizuo Izaya's apartment key and that annoyed him but his control with these arms was still imperfect... far too much to manage a key.

The blond unlocked the door and let them both in. "Alright... Let's see... You want anything to eat, Izaya?" Well, he had to start somewhere.

"No..." He had lost weight in the hospital though and he could only barely feed himself and sloppily at best.

Shizuo sighed before shaking his head. "Want me to order you some ootoro? Because you need to eat. And if you make me, I'll force feed you."

Izaya glared at him. "Fine." He mumbled.

Shizuo smiled lightly before calling up Russia Sushi and ordering them both some sushi. Then, he sat down and waited. Of course, there wasn' t any talking. What talking could they do? _I wonder if I have to stay the night... And if so... How many nights? At least I already talked to Tom about it. So that if I don't show up for work, he knows why._

Izaya was listless and he needed help getting his arms on, the arms were almost robotic looking and he hated them... they were ugly. Still, once he could manage them properly it would be five working fingers on each hand too.

Once the sushi arrived, and Shizuo paid, the blond helped Izaya with that. "There. You should be able to eat your sushi with your arms. And if not, let me know." He really did pity Izaya. This was just sad.

Izaya hardly wanted pity though... he kept breaking the rice apart though and he couldn't even manage chopsticks. If he didn't break the rice though he couldn't get it to his mouth, dropping it or missing and it was frustrating him to tears.

The blond sighed lightly before picking up a piece of Izaya's sushi. "Say ah." This was probably degrading for the other.

Izaya glared at him, his jaw clenched for a moment before he opened his mouth in annoyance. When he did, Shizuo fed him the sushi. Then he ate one of his own before repeating the process. This was most definitely degrading. Izaya's pride was clearly wounded too, having to be fed by his worst enemy... The nurse was at least someone who hadn't tried to kill him on numerous occasions.

Shizuo said nothing as he helped Izaya. This... This was just the beginning of how he'd have to help Izaya. There'd have to be help eating and changing and bathing... He would have to bath his worst enemy. That was... Well... It'd be embarrassing for them both.

Izaya didn't even want to talk about it... but he knew it too. He couldn't bathe himself yet, nor even get dressed. And he supposed he had to change to tee shirts versus long sleeves since he really needed nothing there...

After eating, Shizuo sighed. "So what now? Do you want to watch TV?"

"Sure..." He mumbled, wishing he could just be alone.

But he wouldn't. Not until he could at least function on his own. "Alright. Any channel in particular?"

"News..." Izaya mumbled, moving to his couch. He was still struggling with these stupid arms.

The blond nodded as he picked up the remote and changed the channel to the news. Then, he was silent.

Izaya watched quietly but eventually he glanced over at Shizuo, "I... I need a bath..."

Shizuo nodded. "Alright. I'll get one started and then come and get you. Go ahead and keep watching the news till then." Izaya nodded quietly, waiting silently.

Shizuo made his way to the bathroom before starting the tub. After it was started, he walked back over to Izaya. "Alright. Come on."

Izaya got up and walked quietly, though he needed help once he was there. The stupid, clumsy robotic arms annoyed him and he needed these none-waterproof ones off.

Of course, the blond helped him. He helped Izaya get the arms off, and undressed, and the waterproof ones on, he helped the other into the tub. Yes... This was embarrassing. But oh well.

"Don't bother with the water ones... I can't use them yet anyways..." He mumbled.

Shizuo sighed lightly but nodded. "Alright. Do you want to relax in the water for a bit, or just get cleaned?"

"Get clean..." He mumbled, not looking at Shizuo. He was too embarrassed to.

The blond nodded. Alright. He supposed that he'd have to do this quickly to help with Izaya's pride Or something. So that's what he did. He quickly washed him off before helping him out of the tub and wrapping a towel around him. Izaya didn't say a word, his embarrassment at being seen by his nemesis like this too much to handle.

After drying the other off, he helped him dress. "Do you want your arms on or off?"

"Off..." He didn't see a need. He just wanted to sleep right now and they had told him not to sleep with his arms on.

Shizuo nodded and put the arms off to the side, making sure they weren't someplace that they could be easily broken. "Alright. Now that you've had your bath, what do you want to do?"

Izaya sighed, "I... just wanna sleep..." he mumbled. "If you're staying the night there's a spare room across the hall... if not... whatever..." Maybe he could kill himself that way... not that he could get those arms on by himself.

"Alright. You can head to bed then. And yeah. I am staying. Otherwise, when you wake up, you can't really do anything. Not yet, anyway." Sighing he stood up. "Do you need help getting to bed?"

"I can still manage that on my own." He said stiffly. He might not be able to pee standing up any more but he could get himself in bed on his own.

Shizuo sighed and nodded. "Alright. Well, if you're going to bed, I guess I will to then. See you in the morning. Yell for me if you need anything." This was awkward. But, he made his way to the guest room just fine. Izaya managed to get the blankets on him with what was left of his left arm. He eventually dozed off at least.

When morning came, Shizuo woke up pretty early. Seeing as he was awake, he went ahead and made some breakfast. Then, it was up to the raven's room to wake him.

Izaya was well nestled in blankets and only his hair showed now from under the blankets. He curled up in his sleep too, like a cat. Shizuo smiled lightly. It was kinda cute. And Izaya looked like he was having a nice dream. Still, it was time for him to wake up and have some breakfast.

"Izaya... Wake up."

Izaya grunted softly and hid further under the covers, clearly annoyed though still soundly sleeping. The blond sighed before sitting down on the bed and pulling the covers away. Then, his hand went to Izaya's shoulder, in order to shake him. "Izaya... It's time to wake up. You can't sleep all day."

Izaya blinked his eyes open and glared at Shizuo, "Fine..." He mumbled grouchily, managing to sit up awkwardly with his too-long sleeves and half an arm.

"I made some breakfast. So I guess I'll help you get your arms on so we can eat."

Izaya scowled and nodded. "Fine." He hated all of this. The blond nodded before grabbing Izaya's arms. He helped the other put them on, and then he made his way to the kitchen to set the table for them both.

Izaya followed him at least, sitting glumly at the table to eat. Shizuo would likely have to feed him again though he would try again.

Shizuo sighed as he took a bite to eat. "If you need help eating, let me know."

Izaya tried to eat... but he failed and set his utensils down. "I still need help..." He mumbled meekly.

"I'll help. Don't worry." Shizuo smiled lightly before moving over to help him

Izaya tried to be more civil about it... he knew Shizuo was only being nice to him because he could not currently care for himself but... he was glad there was someone here at least.

Not that Shizuo knew this. After helping Izaya finish eating, he made his way back around the table to eat his own breakfast. After that, he washed the dishes and glanced over at Izaya. "What do you want to do now? Watch TV? Practice with your arms? Just sit there?"

"I should practice, shouldn't I?" He sighed, "Not that I can get them on by myself anyways..."

"I'll get them. And then you can practice." After saying so, Shizuo went to fetch Izaya's arms. After putting them on the raven, he stepped back. "Okay. So do you just do random things to practice moving and controlling them?"'

"Pretty much... the sensors all connect to what muscles I would use for certain actions with my arms but it takes practice..." They said it would take months and they still wanted him to see a physic therapist who specialized in amputee's.

Shizuo nodded. "Alright. That makes sense. I guess I can just sit on the couch while you practice."

Izaya struggled a lot with even the simplest tasks though and it was frustrating for him. It didn't help that he didn't really want to learn. He wanted his arms back... not these stupid things.

Eventually, Shizuo sighed. It was pathetic watching Izaya trying to change the channel and failing. So, he moved over to the other. "I guess I'll help you learn to use your arms. On your own, it doesn't seem to be doing much."

"Takes months..." He mumbled, glaring ahead of himself. They had all been measured to fit him while he was in hospital, the weeks he had been unconscious for allowing the surgery area's to get to what their new normal was. Izaya was good with change... he wasn't good with part of his body missing.

"Well then... Alright. I guess I won't help. But, if you'd like some, just ask." After sighing, Shizuo again seated himself on the couch. Izaya knew better than to ask for what he really wanted. He wanted help dying but Shizuo would never... there had to be some way...


	4. Chapter 4

It was a full month of Shizuo staying with him that Izaya finally decided not to be so ungrateful. So when Shizuo helped him again that day with eating he finally said two simple words he'd neglected up until now.

"Thank you..." He mumbled.

The blond had to blink a bit before smiling. Izaya was finally decided to be civil about this. Or, at least not angry. "You're welcome, Izaya."

He wasn't ready to apologise yet. He knew it was wrong to take it out on Shizuo but he was angry, he was upset and he was bitter. He was still in pain. Not physical pain though he was often aching and his arms hurt even though they weren't there. He still wanted to die... but he could at least be nice to the person taking care of him. Especially since the two of them were enemies and Shizuo had saved him. And it wasn't as if Shizuo knew Izaya was going to lose both of his arms.

"I think I'm gonna go take a nap now. But, if you need me, don't hesitate in waking me up, alright?"

"Alright... thank you..." He mumbled again. He was getting a little better with these things. He could grab things that were big without dropping them unless he wanted to now.

Shizuo offered Izaya another smile before heading to the guest bedroom, which was pretty much his own bedroom now. Then, it was nap time.

Izaya always stewed in his thoughts though, his negative cycle was working in overdrive now. He was just an invalid... he was useless... all he was now was a waste of time, his parents, his sisters, the doctors... Shizuo's...

But no one else saw him that way. Izaya's parents and sisters loved him. The doctors worked because it was their job. And Shizuo... If Shizuo really thought that Izaya was a waste of time, he would have just left.

Izaya didn't know that though. He thought Shizuo stayed because he pitied him. Still, ending his life was tough too, he couldn't hold anything well enough and it wasn't like he had wrists to cut now either.

Soon enough, Shizuo woke. And while yawning, he made his way back to where Izaya was. "Hey." It had started out as pity... but in the one month he'd been there... Shizuo thought differently now. Seeing the once mighty Izaya down so low... He wanted to help the other get back to where he was. He wanted Izaya to see that things weren't as bad as he made them out to be.

"How did you sleep?" Izaya asked politely, managing a smile at Shizuo.

"Well enough. Still not used to that mattress though. How have you been?"

"Fine." He lied. He hadn't been fine since the attack and he still didn't remember it either.

Shizuo nodded, deciding not to push Izaya. It was obvious that he wasn't fine... And he didn't want to make the raven worse. "Anything you want to do?"

"Not really..." He admitted, shrugging his left shoulder. He knew they should do something though...

"Hm... Why don't we go for a walk, Izaya? You haven't really been outside much. And some fresh air will do you good."

Izaya was avoiding being seen... his enemies would see this... "Fine..." He agreed, though a bit reluctantly. He wanted to hide but... fresh air would be good.

Shizuo smiled lightly before standing. "I'll go get our shoes. You should probably wear your arms while we're out."

Yeah..." He didn't like that but people wouldn't notice as much either... he didn't get 'cosmetic' limbs since these were arms and he needed them to function all the time.

The blond nodded. And, once their shoes were on, glanced over at Izaya. "Alright. We can go now." Unless the raven's arms needed to be readjusted. But it didn't seem that way.

Izaya stuck very close to Shizuo, not wanting to get separated. They couldn't hold hands and that annoyed him just a little.

Really, Shizuo didn't mind much. He didn't mind how Izaya was sticking close to him. After all, as long as he was there, no one would mess with Izaya, and the raven would get the fresh air he needed. "A half hour walk sound good to you?"

"Yeah," He agreed. He was scared that people would stare though with his arms on like this he could wear all his longer sleeved clothing. He had changed to a tee shirt though for sleep since the arms of his hoodie got all tangled. While they walked, Shizuo was silent. Some people did stare, but Shizuo chose to ignore them. What harm did staring do? Nothing. That's what.

When the half hour was up, Shizuo and Izaya returned to his loft. "I think now would be a good time to practice with your arms a bit more." Izaya didn't want to but he would anyways. He started with getting a cup to his mouth. He could manage them if they had no handle.

Shizuo smiled lightly. "You're getting better. So that's good." Eventually, Izaya wouldn't need him around anymore. But that would be after he could work the arms correctly.

Izaya would not type as fast as he used to once he had perfect control, nor would he be able to do everything quite as perfectly as he used to. It scared him though, being on his own. It would be one thing if he lost only one arm or if it were his legs he was missing, but he couldn't put the arms on by himself.

The blond sighed lightly before relaxing into the couch and closing his eyes. He was almost always here. Only leaving for groceries or the few times he could go and work with Tom. And not once had Izaya asked him to stay, so he assumed that the raven would rather be on his own.

Really he was terrified though. He just hoped he could kill himself before Shizuo decided to go back to his own home. Once he could control them enough he could take his pick. Drop a toaster in the bathtub, take a bottle of pills...

After a bit, Shizuo glanced over at Izaya. "So what do you want for dinner? I can cook something, or I could order something."

"I want Ootoro..." He decided. He didn't want to keep going and as last meals went Ootoro was good.

Shizuo sighed but nodded. "Alright. I'll order you some ootoro."

"Thank you... " He said softly.

The blond shook his head. "Izaya, you don't have to say thank you all time. It isn't any problem. I'm not complaining. And if helping you was too much work, or a bother or anything, I'd just leave." He smiled a bit, before ordering the sushi. "Though I have to admit, it is nice hearing those words from you."

Izaya smiled, though it wasn't a natural one. "Then I'll be sure to remember then..." He mumbled. He wanted to leave though... the problem would be getting the pills into him without Shizuo noticing. He had pain killers, he could take those...

Shizuo was silent until the door bell rang, and he got the sushi. Shizuo placed Izaya's on the table in front of him, before taking a seat next to him. "Eat up, Izaya." He smiled lightly. The 'let me know if you need help' was not said. But Shizuo knew, or at least thought, that Izaya knew that that was always up. He did but he was managing alright with a spoon at least even if he did struggle a bit.

The blond finished with his sushi rather quickly, before turning to glance at Izaya. "Do you want some help? Or are you fine with the spoon?" He wouldn't mind either way.

"I'm fine." He said. He hated being fed; it made him feel like shit... not that Shizuo probably knew that.

Shizuo definitely didn't know it, or else he wouldn't offer. "Alright then. I'll watch some TV while you finish eating." And that's exactly what he did.

Izaya finished soon enough, "Shizu-chan... I need you to open my pill bottle for me... the one for the pain killers? Just... leave it open, I can get the right number out but I can't... open the bottle..."

Shizuo frowned. "No. I'll get you the pills, Izaya. You sound way too desperate for me to just leave you with pills."

Izaya blinked and frowned, "What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, a little offended, "I just want to be able to get a couple at three am if I have to without having to wake you up... is that really so much to ask?"

"And now you're defensive. Look, Izaya. I know you hate having your arms gone. But when you first woke up, you told me I shouldn't have saved you. And your feelings haven't seemed to change from them. I'm not stupid. And I'm not going to just leave a pill bottle open for you. If you do need some at three am, go ahead and wake me up. I don't mind."

Izaya clenched his jaw and glared at Shizuo but he said nothing. He really could use some pain killers though so he sat down. He just hoped Shizuo didn't realize just how much he wanted to die.

"Do you actually need some pain killers right now? Because, if so, I'll get you some." Shizuo didn't know. He only knew that Izaya didn't like this life at all.

"Yes." He said, settling back down... maybe he could put a fork in the toaster later with his mouth...

The blond nodded before getting Izaya the right number of pain killers. Then he brought them to Izaya, along with a glass of water. "Here." Shizuo offered Izaya a light smile. It seemed he was doing that a lot lately.

Izaya took them quietly, though he remembered to thank Shizuo too. He was upset this hadn't worked though... he could try other things unless Shizuo started unplugging everything and putting coverings on the sockets that Izaya couldn't remove. That wasn't something Shizuo would do though. It was true that he wasn't stupid, but he also didn't think there was any way for the other to kill himself with the sockets.

He'd learn otherwise tonight... For now Izaya acted like normal, letting Shizuo help him wash and change. He would wait until the other fell asleep though...

And soon, just like Izaya wanted, Shizuo headed to bed. After making sure the raven was in his own, of course. It didn't take long for Shizuo to fall asleep. Only about ten minutes.

Izaya crept out now, slipping past Shizuo's room -silently he hoped- and down stairs... getting the drawer open was a bit of a challenge but he managed... now he had to get a knife out... if the toaster failed he could unplug something.

Of course, Izaya didn't exactly move past the blond's room silently, and he woke up. Of course, he was a bit confused. It wasn't that late after going to sleep, and Izaya wasn't heading towards the bathroom. So, he followed Izaya, silently. He wanted to see what the raven was up to before interfering...

Izaya frowned at the cutlery... if Shizuo woke up he would say he was just hungry and didn't want to wake the other... now he struggled with getting a knife out... next... yes, he could do this...

Shizuo scowled as he watched. "Izaya... What the hell are you doing?"

"Shrrzro?" He started, the knife still in his mouth as he looked at the other. "I wush hungry" He said, though it was muffled, talking around the knife.

The blond scowled, taking the knife from the other. "Bullshit."

Izaya didn't have an argument really... "How is that bullshit?" He asked frowning.

"We just went to bed. If you were hungry, you shoulda said so before bed. But, you waited till I was asleep."

"I wanted to do it myself..." Izaya frowned. Shizuo was on to him... shit.

"I'm still calling bullshit. You can't control your arms very well. If you wanted to do it yourself, then I would still have to be close by."

"I don't want you close by! I don't like needing help! I don't like barely being able to feed myself or have a bath on my own or even use the fucking toilet 'only with help'! Do you not understand how degrading this is?" He snapped now, tears in his eyes.

"I understand what it might feel like for you. But that doesn't mean you can go and kill yourself!"

"No Shizuo, you don't understand what this is like! You don't have a clue what this is like! I can't do anything anymore! I can't even get my own fucking prosthetics on without help! I will need people for the rest of my god damn life and nothing will ever, ever give me back my independence!"

"Izaya... It'll be alright though. You just have to adjust. Sure, you'll need help. But everyone needs help with life."

"I didn't! I didn't need anyone until this! I hate this! I hate living!" He stormed passed Shizuo... the blonde would no doubt check on him throughout the night... he kicked his bedroom door shut and fell on his bed, biting his pillow as he tried to stop the tears.

Shizuo sighed and followed Izaya before sitting down on the bed next to him and running on hand through the raven's hair.

Izaya wanted to tell Shizuo to go away... but at the same time he wanted Shizuo there... he ended up moving closer just as he started to sob openly... what he really wanted was someone to hold him he decided. "Izaya... Besides dying... What do you want?" He didn't' stop running his hand through Izaya's hair.

He didn't really want to talk. He wanted too many things. He wanted his arms back, he wanted Shizuo to hug him, he wanted everything to go back in time a few months... he did look at Shizuo, tears streaming down his cheeks though and then tried to tug Shizuo to him with what was left of his left arm.

The blond sighed lightly before wrapping his arms around Izaya, and holding him close. He said nothing.

He hiccupped and sobbed into Shizuo's chest for a long time, but eventually he was out of tears and he passed into a listless sleep. Shizuo sighed, before laying Izaya in the bed. However, he didn't leave. Instead, he stayed close to the raven, and eventually fell asleep next to him. Izaya felt low still when he woke up... upset but warm too. Oh... Shizuo was still there... he frowned before managing to move closer to the other... he just wish he could hug Shizuo right now and make him stay close.


	5. Chapter 5

Soon enough, Shizuo woke up and tiredly rubbed his eyes. "Morning Izaya." Absent mindedly, he ran one hand through Izaya's hair.

Izaya said nothing, not wanting to move yet. He was still depressed and it felt like someone had siphoned off all his energy for anything.

"How do you feel?" Shizuo felt like some conversation would be better than none.

Feel? He felt like he was worthless, like no one cared what happened to him... he felt like he should die. He hid his face in Shizuo's chest rather than answer. The blond sighed, but said nothing and merely held the other close. "Izaya..." He didn't know what to say. "Are you up for breakfast? Or would you rather stay here?"

"Here." Izaya said stubbornly, not moving.

The blond nodded. "Alright. We'll stay here." And then he fell silent.

Izaya held still for a long time but finally he knew they had to eat... Shizuo must have been hungry at least...

"Shizu-chan..." He mumbled, "Let's... have breakfast now..." Once he had his arms on anyways...

The blond nodded. "Yeah. Alright. What do you want?"

"I don't care..." He said softly. Spoons were easiest for him to use now.

The blond nodded. "Alright. Cereal then."

Izaya nodded, managing to pull himself up with his abdominal muscles. He glared at his arms though in the corner of the room... he hated this...

Once they were up, Shizuo helped Izaya with his arms. Then, he walked to the kitchen to get them both some cereal. Izaya was right behind him too, sitting down calmly now. He seemed calm anyways, he felt calm too just... tired.

Shizuo got the cereal out before pouring them both a bowl. Then, he set a bowl in front of Izaya. "Here you are." And one for him.

"Thank you..." Izaya said managing to feed himself, though he was pretty slow at it.

Shizuo didn't mind. He smiled lightly and finished eating himself before waiting for the raven to finish.

Izaya was glad Shizuo didn't offer to help this time at least and he finished off soon enough.

Shizuo washed the dishes before glancing over at the raven. "Is there anything you want to do?"

"L-let's... watch a movie... something funny?" He wanted to try doing more with his hands... he hoped he could work up to video games soon.

"Sure. Got a movie in mind?"

"Anything's good..." He said softly.

Shizuo nodded and put in a random movie before taking a seat next to the raven.

Izaya wanted to lean against him, but he knew he had better not. He knew his prosthetics were hard and would probably dig into Shizuo uncomfortably. So he sat stiffly instead.

Shizuo relaxed against the couch. And for the most part, he watched the movie. Until near the end. "Oi. Izaya. You look stiff."

"Ah? N-no, I'm fine Shizu-chan..."

"Alright then... If you say so." He was doubtful, but he wasn't going to push Izaya. So, he finished the movie. But then... He thought about it. Izaya had broken down last night...

"Izaya... Why don't you talk about how you feel. About your arms being gone and your life now?"

Izaya didn't like where this was heading... "Because I don't want to..." He said softly. He didn't have to like talking about his feelings... he'd never talked about his feelings before.

"You don't want to talk about your feelings?" At that, Shizuo had to sigh. "I won't force you to. I just thought it'd be a good idea, because of what happened last night." And because the thought of Izaya killing himself really did scare him.

Izaya frowned and looked away. Last night had probably proven that he wasn't handling this change very well. Again, Shizuo sighed. "If you don't want to talk about it, then you don't have to. I just said that I wouldn't force you." He offered a light smile. "But, if you ever need to, I'll be here to listen."

Izaya didn't respond. He didn't know how to and he sighed softly, closing his eyes.

Figuring that Izaya just wanted some rest, Shizuo turned to the TV and turned it on. Well... That was enough of that conversation, it seemed.

Izaya didn't get any better though in the days that followed and he was working on his dexterity with his new fingers. If he could get the lid off his pill bottles... then he was all set for a second and probably more effective attempt on his life. He didn't want to ask Shizuo and he was good about staying in bed now, hoping to relax the blonde too.

It did relax Shizuo. In fact, the blond didn't think that Izaya would attempt to take his own life again. He knew that Izaya wasn't doing the best though. And that was fine. No one who woke up without their arms would be.

Finally though Izaya was able to open those damn pills on his own. So he popped the lid off and left them open in his bathroom, someplace Shizuo wasn't allowed since this wasn't where he was taking his baths currently. He would wait until midnight... Shizuo would be asleep by then surely? Soon enough, it was time for bed. Shizuo thought nothing of it, seeing as Izaya was acting normal. He helped the other get to sleep, and then went to bed himself.

Izaya lay awake until the clock read 00:00 and he slipped out of bed. He managed the latch with his left and got inside the bathroom. He turned the tap on first then started swallowing pills two or three at a time until they were all gone. Good... now he should be able to die...

But another twenty minutes passed and he felt so weird... light headed, almost like he was drunk and sick. He threw up a couple of times before stumbling out of his room and trying to find a person. He wasn't sure why... he just felt cold and clammy and other people were warm... maybe he could just cuddle Shizuo until he died... yeah, that sounded good.

However, when Izaya climbed into the bed with Shizuo, it woke the other up. After rubbing his eyes, he glanced at Izaya. He seemed... odd. "Izaya? What are you doing awake?" He had a horrible suspicion that something bad happened.

Izaya tried to say he just felt cold but the words came out a confused jumble of gibberish instead. He'd broken into a light sweat by now too and his breathing was becoming laboured.

Shizuo blinked and sat up now. Okay. Something was definitely wrong. "Izaya...?" He seemed sick but... The blond put his hand on Izaya's forehead. Did he have a fever? A cold?

He wasn't hot despite the sweat... just clammy and cold. He whined when Shizuo's warmth vanished and tried to find it again, shivering violently.

"What did you do?" Suspicion laced his voice as he got up. What did Izaya do? Why the hell was he so sweaty and cold? It'd be best to bring him to a hospital... And fast. 911, maybe?

Izaya tried talking again but it was the same as last time, a jumbled mess. He felt hazy and strange and he couldn't form words in plain Japanese right now.

Shit shit shit. Shizuo thought he knew exactly what it was Izaya did. He swallowed all his pills, didn't he? But... But it didn't seem like he'd try to again.

Already, Shizuo pulled out his cell phone, before dialing an ambulance. They'd get Izaya to a hospital quicker than he would. After telling them of the emergency and address, he picked Izaya up and carried him outside, for when the ambulance arrived.

They arrived in no time at all though one checked the house -namely Izaya's bathroom to see what he had taken. Then it was off to the hospital and they let Shizuo come in the ambulance.

The blond was glad for that, as well as worried for Izaya. But... At least he would be okay. They could pump the raven's stomach so that he wouldn't die.

They did as soon as they were at the hospital too and then sedated him so he could sleep through the night. They asked Shizuo a few question, had Izaya tried this before? Did he know why Izaya was acting this way? Was he seeing a therapist? Did he have any family that needed to be contacted?

And Shizuo answered them. Yes, Izaya had tried before. Only, with a knife. Why Izaya was acting this way... He thought he was useless and a burden without his arms. No, he wasn't seeing a therapist. And he did have family that could be contacted, if need be.

They contacted Izaya's family and told Shizuo they wanted to admit him into psychiatric care. He would be asleep until morning and Shizuo could stay there at the hospital or go home if he liked.

The blond decided to stay. As for psychiatric care... That decision would be best left up to Izaya's family.

"Stupid flea... I thought you were done with trying to kill yourself."

The doctors did let Shizuo know that no lasting damage was done, Izaya should be fine in a few hours physically speaking and that with injuries on the level Izaya had sustained depression was not uncommon.

He nodded. "Thank you for letting me know." _I just hope that he'll be more than just physically alright..._

Izaya did wake around noon that day, his family having arrived a few hours before and all of them thanking Shizuo for being there for Izaya through all of this. They knew Shizuo didn't have to be... and they were grateful even if Izaya wasn't. Or at least he tended to act like he wasn't.

When the twins saw that he was awake, then ran over to Izaya and wrapped their arms around him.

"Stupid..." Kururi mumbled, causing Mairu to nod.

"Don't do something so stupid again!"

Izaya was disgruntled to be waking up at all but he didn't say that just yet.

"Sorry..." He mumbled instead.

The twins just hugged him some more, tears pricking at their eyes. "We were so worried..."

"Sorry... I'm sorry..." He mumbled. He hadn't thought they would be upset by this...

The twins were his sisters. Family. They loved Izaya, so why wouldn't they be upset?

Both girls just sniffled and clung to their brother. That was, until, their parents pulled them away, so that Izaya could have some space. Izaya was grateful for that. What he disliked was later being made to sit in a wheelchair and transfer to the psychiatric ward. If he accepted treatment he would be there a while... but he could refuse treatment too. He was suicidal, not insane.

Shizuo was a bit upset that Izaya didn't want the treatment. It'd be helpful... But, he wouldn't force the other. That'd be wrong. _I just hope that I can help him..._

They told Shizuo to keep an eye on him though and to control his medication, it should be kept away from Izaya unless it was actually needed before releasing Izaya. He was irritated though that they had kept him two days, and without his arms either.

Still, Shizuo was glad that Izaya was alright. And soon, they were back at his place. "Do you want to rest?"

"I've done enough resting, I wanna do something..." Izaya grumbled. He really wanted to go on the computer but he was having trouble typing still.

"Well, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know Shizuo... I want to do a lot of things and I can't." He pointed out.

"True... Why don't we just watch a movie then?"

"Fine..." He sighed, flopping over onto his side on the couch. They had just gotten in so he still didn't have his arms but he decided he wanted Shizuo to hug him again right now... he'd liked it.

Shizuo sat down and turned on a random channel. "This work?"

"Anything's fine..." Izaya managed to roll his body back up and then moved Shizuo's arm with the stump of his left and pressed himself into Shizuo's side.

The blond blinked, but didn't say a word. It was fine. "Alright then."

Izaya was quite comfortable there, Shizuo was soft and warm and he smelled nice. Eventually, the blond wrapped one arm around Izaya. It just felt natural to. Oh well.


	6. Chapter 6

A few months passed now and Izaya was still depressed... he still wanted to die though he'd refrained from trying for a while now.

It made Shizuo glad. He... He didn't want to lose Izaya. So... He was happy Izaya didn't try to die. Stretching, he glanced over at the raven. "You're getting really good with your arms."

Izaya could even type now; albeit very slowly though the rumour on the internet was that he was dead, not armless. That annoyed him a little honestly.

"Ah... thanks~" Now if only he could get them on and off on his own... on the upside all he needed help with when bathing now was for Shizuo to give him his waterproof piece and he could manage on his own with relative ease.

"I guess that, soon, I'll be able to head home. You'll just have to have someone here in the morning and evenings for your arms."

"Yeah..." Izaya sighed softly... he didn't want to be alone though... he liked pretending someone cared about him and when Shizuo left that was gone...

"Possibly within the next few days, as well." But, he didn't want to leave. However... Izaya wouldn't need him. Izaya didn't want him there.

On the contrary Izaya needed Shizuo now... he had grown to rely on the other for a lot of things, though he was figuring out his own arms too. If he used his feet and mouth he could get the left prosthetic on and if he got that on he could manage the right well enough.

That night, before heading to bed, Shizuo started to gather all his things together. He'd need them all in one place, if he was leaving right after breakfast.

Izaya acted like this was all fine... but it wasn't. When he went to bed that night he couldn't sleep and much to his own chagrin he began to cry around midnight, though he tried to muffle his own sobs.

It didn't work very well. So, tiredly, Shizuo wandered in the raven's room, rubbing his eyes. "Izaya...? Why're you crying?"

Izaya started, not realizing Shizuo had woken up and he blinked at the other, managing to sit up.

"Oh... "

Shizuo made his way over to Izaya's bed, before sitting down. "Why were you crying?"

"Why do y-you care? You're leaving aren't you? You don't care about m-me at all!" Izaya whimpered.

"I'm leaving because you don't need me anymore. It doesn't mean that I don't care."

"I do need you! And no one cares about me either! Not one person! No one loves me and no one ever will!" He snapped, trying to stop his own tears but they just didn't turn off when he was like this.

Shizuo wrapped his arms around Izaya. "Don't say that. I do care for you.. And... And... I love you."

Izaya hiccupped at that and shook his head, "N-no you don't! Y-you're a l-liar! You just d-don't want me to k-kill myself!"

"No. I'm not lying. Izaya, I don't want to leave. But before now, you haven't said anything about wanting me to stay!"

Izaya swallowed and looked up at Shizuo... he hadn't... no he had not said he wanted Shizuo here... "Th-then don't go...?" He whimpered softly, nuzzling into Shizuo's shirt.

The blond nodded. "Alright. I won't go." Lightly, he kissed the other's forehead.

"Shizuo do you mean it... you... l-love me?" He asked. Probably Shizuo meant as a friend but... Izaya could pretend right?

"Yes. I do. I love you, Izaya."

"How..." He asked, calming down a little. Pretend... he just wanted to pretend that Shizuo loved him, really loved him... more than just pity or like a friend.

"I don't know. But, I found myself getting attached to you.. And now... I love you." He cupped the raven's face before leaning in to kiss him.

Izaya's eyes widened for a moment and then closed. Oh... Shizuo felt the same... this was a welcome surprise...

The blond stayed like that for a moment, before pulling away. "I love you, Izaya. I care for you. I don't want to leave."

Izaya managed a grin, a real one for once too. "I l-love you too Shizuo... " He mumbled, kissing Shizuo again. He liked that feeling...

Without really thinking to, Shizuo nibbled Izaya's bottom lip. Kissing Izaya... It felt great.

Izaya grinned, parting his lips now for Shizuo... his muscles moved as he tried to put his non-existent arms around Shizuo's neck, his left stump touching the others neck at least.

Shizuo's tongue pushed into Izaya's mouth, a light moan leaving him as he did. This was... It really was amazing.

Izaya moaned softly, moving one of his legs around Shizuo's waist and then using that to tug the blonde down so Shizuo was on top of him.

Shizuo let out a light groan, but didn't protest. He only deepened the kiss as he pushed his hands up under Izaya's shirt.

Izaya grinned, sudden euphoria bubbling in his chest. Shizuo loved him... Shizuo loved him! He felt like singing! He only wished he could remove Shizuo's clothes himself.

The blond didn't mind that Izaya couldn't. He didn't care. Now, his mouth moved away from Izaya's and moved to his neck, nibbling it.

Izaya gasped softly, whining in need now. "Sh-Shizuo..." he mumbled, not sure how to express this.

"Mmm?" He glanced at the other, not wanting to stop. But then again, Izaya might.

"Y-your shirt... take you sh-shirt off..." He mumbled, blushing pink when he said it.

The blond blinked before nodding. "Alright." He sat up, before stripping himself of his shirt.

Izaya grinned, taking in the sight with his eyes. Oh... Shizuo was so beautiful... and enviously whole. Izaya really did envy Shizuo too... he envied everyone.

Now, Shizuo's hands went back to Izaya, stripping him of his own shirt. He hated seeing all the scars... But Izaya was still beautiful.

The worst of the scars were where the assailants had cut him open, the thinnest lines were from the surgeons fixing him back up... and the worst ones were at his stumps, where his arms used to be.

Shizuo leaned over and kissed along Izaya's scars. "I wish these scars didn't have to be here."

Izaya pouted softly, "Then pretend they aren't..." He mumbled softly.

"Alright." With that, his mouth was on Izaya's again, and his hands were moving towards the other's waistline. There was no thought of stopping this. He loved Izaya, and Izaya wasn't saying no.

Izaya wanted this too... he just hadn't wanted to say anything before. And now it was really happening, Shizuo was really here... kissing all over his body even though he was so ugly and scarred now...

But Shizuo didn't see it that way. Every scar was part of Izaya. And Izaya was beautiful. Slowly, Shizuo pulled the other's pants and boxers down, before stroking at Izaya's length. At the same time, he planted kisses all over the other. Izaya... He really loved Izaya.

Izaya moaned softly, closing his eyes. He shivered and gasped, enjoying the touches.

Eventually, Shizuo offered three fingers to Izaya. "Here. So I can prepare you."

Izaya opened his mouth, licking and sucking at the fingers, his legs shifting a little. Shizuo... he would feel Shizuo inside of him soon...

The blond moaned as he moved his fingers. This felt great. Amazing. "I love you so much..."

Izaya couldn't talk with fingers in his mouth, but he could lock eyes with Shizuo to try and return the sentiment.

After a bit, Shizuo pulled his fingers away, and positioned it at Izaya's entrance. "Ready for this?"

"Y-yeah..." He replied, his eyes still wet from the earlier crying, but right now, even if it was just temporary he was happy.

With that, Shizuo pushed the finger inside and started to thrust it lightly. He had to prepare Izaya, or it'd hurt.

Izaya gasped softly at the intrusion. It felt strange... but in a weirdly good way too. He liked it.

"Tell me if I'm being too rough, alright? I want to prepare you so it doesn't hurt."

"I-I'll tell you..." Izaya agreed, rolling his hips eagerly now.

Shizuo smiled, glad. The single finger was thrusted for a few minutes before the second went in. Shizuo scissored, as well as thrusted, them.

Izaya moaned sweetly when he got to the second finger now, his body trembling just a little now. "Sh-Shizu-chan..." It felt good... damn it... it felt so good.

The blond's lips were on Izaya's now, and the third finger went in. He loved Izaya... So why hadn't he realized it until now?

Izaya moaned, his eyes closing now. He loved Shizuo... he loved what Shizuo was doing to him...

After a couple of minutes of pushing the fingers around, Shizuo pulled his hand away. Then, he lined up with Izaya. "Are you ready for me?" He had removed his own pants some time earlier while preparing the other.

"Y-yeah..." He whimpered softly, his eyes on Shizuo's. Truth be told he was a little nervous, but he did want this.

After nodding and inhaling, Shizuo pushed inside of Izaya. It'd hurt him... Right? So, he locked lips with Izaya. That should help... Hopefully.

Izaya winced as he was entered, trying to relax a bit afterwards. Shizuo was huge... but he handled it too... he'd been through far worse after all.

As soon as Izaya was relaxed, Shizuo started to thrust. Slowly, of course. All the same, he was moving, and kissing all along Izaya as he did. His hands moved around the raven's body as well.

Izaya grunted and moaned softly until Shizuo brushed something inside him and he moaned louder, his eyes snapping shut again.

For just a moment, Shizuo stopped, surprised. But then, he realized what he must have hit, and readjusted to keep hitting that spot, a low moan escaping him as he did. It felt... Amazing, being inside of Izaya like this.

Izaya writhed and moaned beneath him now, managing to beg for more between his cries of ecstasy.

It was something Shizuo easily agreed to. He didn't want to stop. And he wanted to be with Izaya. So, he picked up his pace again, his hands feeling all of Izaya. He never wanted to be away from the raven. Never ever.

Izaya's left stump rested on Shizuo's right shoulder as they moved together and he moaned loud and hungry with every thrust and finally his release built up.

Shizuo moaned as he thrusted. Oh god... This felt so good. And he was close. Any moment now...

Izaya came first, clenching around Shizuo inside of him and moaning louder than ever. He wasn't sure how they had gotten here... from Shizuo about to leave and Izaya sobbing about it to Shizuo staying... to them having sex.

The blond let out a long, low moan as he thrusted just a bit deeper into Izaya as he released. He wasn't sure of it either. He had woken up because of Izaya sobbing. He had admitted that he loved the other... And then it seemed to have just escalated. However, he didn't care. Because, he loved the raven. Panting lightly, he pulled out of the other before holding him close.

"I'm not leaving, come morning. I want to stay here... With you, Izaya."

Izaya swallowed and cuddled into the other more with a soft sigh, happy with this.

"Good... stay forever if you want..." He mumbled happily as he closed his eyes, letting himself drift into sleep.

Shizuo smiled before nodding. "Yeah. Forever sounds good..." And then he was asleep as well.


	7. Chapter 7

When Izaya woke it was his first good mood since he had been attacked. He felt warm and fuzzy... like maybe life was finally getting on the right track again.

The blond woke up soon after. "You seem happy." That made him glad.

"Hmmn... I feel good~" He mumbled, grinning at Shizuo happily.

"I'm glad..." The blond smiled before kissing Izaya's forehead. "Do you want a bath?"

"Ah... yes~" Now that he thought about it he was a little sore... or a lot.

"Alright. I'll start one for you. Then we can wash off together. Sound good?"

"Yeah~" Izaya just wished he could wash Shizuo off for a change... oh well.

The blond got the bath ready quickly, before returning to get Izaya. "Alright. Let's go."

"Ah... I think I need you to carry me..." Izaya admitted sheepishly, trying to sit up and giving up at the sharp pain it caused in his rear.

Shizuo nodded before sweeping the raven up in one movement. "Alright then. Let's go." He grinned as he walked to the bathroom.

Izaya smiled, nuzzling into Shizuo's chest and neck. He wished he could hold himself to Shizuo but... he couldn't.

The blond didn't mind thought. He still cared for the raven. Soon enough, he lowered Izaya into the tub, before getting in with the raven. Izaya sighed in contentment, relaxing a lot and leaning against Shizuo.

Shizuo smiled lightly. "Let's relax here in the water for a bit before cleaning ourselves off, alright?"

"Mmn... I think I can definitely agree to that~" Izaya murmured happily. He felt good... Shizuo made him feel good.

It made the blond feel glad. That he could help Izaya. "I'm glad that you're happy."

"Mmmn... that's entirely your fault Shizu-chan..." Izaya murmured with a grin. Maybe... maybe he could get used to this after all... in a year... two? He was getting better at this and right now he didn't want to die.

Which made Shizuo smile. After a bit, he picked up the soap. "Alright. Let's get clean."

A few weeks passed and while Izaya was happier he wasn't... well... happy. He still thought Shizuo would just up and leave even though they shared a bed now and even made love a few more times Izaya still felt low. He didn't want a therapist though, he didn't trust them.

It was then that Shizuo texted Celty. He felt like... Like Izaya just needed someone to talk with. And he could always relax with Celty. So maybe she could help Izaya out?

[Hey Celty. I have a favor to ask of you.] He sent the text, not thinking twice.

[Yeah sure, what's up?] She was always happy to help Shizuo out.

[Uh... Well. I was wondering if you could just chat with Izaya for a bit. Kinda like how I used to meet up with you to just talk about things that were bothering me. He's happier... But he still seems depressed. And he refuses to talk with a therapist.] He sent that text, before another. [And I was thinking that since you're a mutual friend, he might open up a bit to you.]

[Ah... sure, I'm willing to try... I can be over later today okay?] By now pretty much everyone who knew Izaya was still alive also knew he was in a relationship with Shizuo.

Shizuo smiled lightly. [Thanks Celty. See ya then. I'll let Izaya know you're coming over as well, so that he doesn't freak or anything when you're here.] With that, he pocketed his cell before walking back into the room Izaya was waiting.

Currently he was on the computer, practicing his code writing again. He couldn't type fast though and to him it was frustrating. Still he'd written ten lines in about an hour and a half and that was a lot to manage too with two artificial arms.

"Izaya, Celty is coming over in a bit." That was probably the first thing he should say. And it might distract the other from his probably frustration.

"Ah? Alright, I don't mind..." He assumed she was here for Shizuo since Izaya hadn't had any jobs for her recently, nor for himself.

The blond smiled a bit. "So how is typing going?" It seemed as if the raven was making some progress.

"Mn... slow. It's taking me three times as long to type anything..." He grumbled. He'd been unnaturally fast before this, but now... he was slow.

"Well, at least you can type. And the more you practice, the better you'll get." He smiled lightly. "Think positive."

Izaya wasn't so sure though... there was only so much he could do after all...

"Why don't you take a break? Typing till you're tired isn't going to help."

"Ah? Yeah soon as I'm finished this last line of code..." Izaya agreed, continuing to type.

"Alright." Shizuo smiled before heading to the couch and sitting down. He didn't turn on the TV, thinking that it might distract the other.

Izaya finished up soon enough, saved and exited the program before shutting down his computer.

"Okay Shizu-chan..." He said, heading to the other and flopping down next to him. He always sat on Shizuo's right so that his artificial right arm didn't dig into Shizuo. The left was at least real up until the elbow.

The blond smiled before wrapping one arm around Izaya. "Let's watch some TV." With that, he turned the TV on and flipped to a random channel. "Feel free to change it."

Izaya didn't really watch though, too interested in just being near Shizuo when Celty arrived later on.

Celty waved to Shizuo, who got up and walked to the other room. It was then that Celty sat next to the raven. [Hey Izaya. How are you feeling?]

"Ah? Um... f-fine I guess..." She was here to see him? Shizuo had set this up hadn't he... oh that stupid...kind... horrible wonderful idiot.

[You know... Shizuo is worried about you. He feels like, despite being happy... You're still depressed.] Yes. That proved that Shizuo had set this up. Still, Celty had agreed to come over.

Izaya made a face at that, somewhere between disgruntled and upset. "Oh..." He was depressed yes but... that probably wouldn't change any time soon.

Celty's helmet tilted a bit to the side, showing she was curious. [You are still depressed... But you seemed so happy, after Shizuo confessed. What happened?]

"Isn't it obvious? Shizuo won't stay with me..." He mumbled, trying not to look too upset.

If she had her head, she would have blinked.

[Of course he will. Why do you think he won't?]

"Because I'm hideous! I'm covered in scars, I haven't even got arms and Shizuo... he's the type who should have kids... and I mean... it's not like I can give him any..."

Again, if she had her head, she would have blinked.

[Izaya... Has Shizuo every called you hideous? Has he talked about wanting kids with you?] She was making note of all this. After all, she'd have to sort it out, to help Izaya and Shizuo. [Also, I don't think he minds your lack of arms.]

"Not... not with me but... he could have a real family with someone else... he could be... happier... if he picked someone else..." Izaya looked upset by this thought.

Celty shook her helmet. [Izaya, that's not true. Shizuo loves you and he picked you. He doesn't regret his decision. So you should stop worrying about it.] Maybe she could talk with Shinra. After all, Shinra was both Shizuo and Izaya's friend. So he could talk with them and help them work this out.

"...Maybe..." He mumbled. He couldn't help worrying though... if Shizuo left him he didn't know what he would do...

The dullahan made a motion as if she were sighing. [Maybe you should just talk with Shizuo about how you feel? Because I don't feel like I can help much here...]

"I'll... I'll try... okay?" He could try...

[ : ) ] She typed the smile emoticon into her phone before showing the raven, and patting his shoulder.

[Alright then. I guess I should go now then. See you sometime.]

"Yeah... thanks Celty..." Izaya meant his thank you though. She had helped a little bit at least.

She nodded before standing, waving, and then leaving.

A few minutes after that, Shizuo walked back in. "She's gone already? That was fast."

"Ah... yeah... " Izaya smiled at Shizuo and patted the seat beside him to indicate that Shizuo should sit.

It only took a moment for the blond to sit next to Izaya. "You seem distracted."

"I guess... Shizu-chan... have you ever... wanted children?"

"Huh? I dunno. Never really thought about it. Truthfully, I never really thought someone would be interested enough in me to start a relationship with me." He smiled lightly. "But I don't have to worry about that. Because we're together."

"Really?" So... so Shizuo didn't want children of his own? He didn't want to have the house with two point five kids and a dog and/or cat?

He shrugged. "Really. And as for the kids... I still don't know. I mean, if you wanted to adopt a kid so we could raise him or her together, that'd be fine. Otherwise, I'm fine with just you." He had to smile again. Really, he did love Izaya.

"And... and my scars... don't bug you? Even... the arms?"

Shizuo shook his head. "No. They don't. I mean... I wish you didn't have to get beat up and nearly killed for us to be together... But I'm not holding that against you. It isn't your fault. The scars, and the arms, are just surface scars. You're still there, so why should it matter?"

"I... I guess it doesn't really..." He mumbled softly, "I don't know it just... I feel... ugly..."

"You aren't though. Izaya... You're beautiful."

"Yes but I don't _feel_ that way Shizuo... I don't appear beautiful to _me_." He knew Shizuo thought he was... that didn't make it true...

The blond sighed before pulling Izaya close and hugging him. "I wish I knew how to help you believe that you are."

Izaya sighed softly, "Just... give me some time okay?"

Shizuo nodded. "Yeah. I will."

It was a little later that Celty arrived home. Of course, Shinra had been waiting.

[Uh... Shinra... I have something to ask.] Ands whatever you do, don't take this in the wrong way and assume I'm going to ask to marry you or something.

"Yeah? What's up?" He asked, curious. At least he assumed nothing... yet.

[Well... Shizuo just called me over to talk with Izaya, because he's still depressed. And I couldn't really help. But I was wondering that, since you're both of their friends, if you could talk to them and help them out?]

"Ah? I tried already... those two... odd pair you know? Ah, did Izaya at least say what he was still upset about?"

She nodded. [Yeah. I did. He thinks he's hideous and that Shizuo's going to leave him. Especially since he can't mother any kids for Shizuo.] But, she had hopefully convinced him that that wasn't the case... She hoped.

"I see... interesting..." Maybe Shinra could help after all then... perfect~

[So... Yeah. Could you talk with them later? I think it'd help them a lot.]

"Sure, I can." Shinra said happily. And he could give them a nice surprise too... or Shinra thought it was a nice one anyways.

Celty would have smiled, if she had her head. [Thanks Shinra.]


	8. Chapter 8

It was a few days later Shinra's plan was ready and he went over to see Izaya while Shizuo was at work... Izaya wouldn`t suffer any immediate side effects... aside from being horny as hell in a few hours when Shizuo got back.

Shinra waited until about five minutes after Shizuo had left for work to knock on the door. "Oi! Izaya. Let me in!"

Izaya blinked and rolled his eyes, letting the doctor in, "Hey Shinra..." Since having his arms amputated he had grown mostly dominant on his left instead of his right as the left prosthesis was easier to manage.

"You seem like you're doing well. Or, well enough, considering what's happened to you."

"Ah... better than I was when I woke up I suppose... want anything to drink? Tea? Coffee? Water? Milk?" They had plenty of milk.

"Sure! Ah. But I'll make it. I'll make you a cup too. You like your coffee black, don't you?" And he had an excuse in case Izaya wanted to make them both coffee.

"Ah... yeah... um... thanks." Izaya let him though, his motor skills with coffee were still poor.

Shinra smiled before making his way to the kitchen. This was perfect! He could fix things for his two friends. And everything would be fine. He made the coffee, and added sweetener and milk to his own. Then, making sure that Izaya wasn't looking, he added the contents of a small vile to Izaya's coffee. "Here we are~ Fresh coffee. Black for you." He placed that mug in front of Izaya before sipping at his own.

"Ah, thanks." Izaya managed to pick the cup up though he didn't use the handle on mugs any more. It was harder to hold and he didn't need them.

"No problem. It's the least I could do. I mean... I haven't really come over to visit you, have I? If I refused to make you just one cup of coffee... I'd be a jerk. Or something." He shrugged before sipping his own coffee.

"Ah... my motor skills just aren't there yet... I can type again but I'm kinda slow..." He did manage a small smile as he sipped his own cup, unaware of what Shinra had slipped him.

"Well, that's progress for you. You couldn't type before, and now you can. Who cares if it's slow? As long as it's better than before." He smiled. Great. This would be just great. Good thing he made that little powder tasteless as well.

Izaya certainly noticed nothing anyways and soon enough he had finished the whole cup. And the mixture he had been slipped.

"Mm... I thought we'd have more to talk about. But instead we've just been sitting here in silence. Guess I'm not very much of a friend." He finished his own cup then. Bullshit. He had just guaranteed that everything would be better.

In his mind maybe. "Ah? Just having company is nice sometimes Shinra," Izaya chuckled as he stretched his back and legs.

"I guess." He smiled before rubbing the back of his head. "Ah... I shouldn't stay for so long though. Never know when someone's gonna show up on my doorstep asking for plastic surgery that he or she can't go to a hospital or whatever for."

"Oh... alright then um... see you around then..." Izaya smiled at the doctor, hoping he'd come visit soon.

"Yeah. See you, hopefully soon, Izaya." With that, he waved and was off. Yes... Hopefully soon...

Izaya spent his day watching television, managing to read and practicing his typing more; but as the hours passed his body grew increasingly hot. He wanted... he wanted Shizuo... he wanted Shizuo right now... he needed sex and it was so embarrassing.

Shizuo didn't return home for another few hours. And when he did, he wasn't really in the mood for sex. He was tired and just wanted to spend time with the raven.

Shizuo had no idea what he was in for though... Izaya had never needed it more than he did right now and when Shizuo arrived home he grinned.

"Hey~" he practically purred, making his way over to the other.

The blond had to blink. "Hey Izaya." Why did he have such a bad feeling about this? Never the less, he made his way over to the couch before sitting down. "So, how was your day?"

"Boring~" He said as he immediately climbed into Shizuo's lap and nipped playfully at Shizuo's ear, his artificial arms wrapping awkwardly around Shizuo's neck.

"Really? Is that why you're all over me?" Still, he wasn't in the mood. So he pushed Izaya a bit away.

"Mmn~? No, I'm just really fucking horny right now"

Well... At least Izaya was honest about it. "Well... I guess I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm actually exhausted and not in the mood."

Izaya pouted softly... and he hated needing it like this... he knew he could get Shizuo in the mood but... he knew it was wrong though.

"Sorry. Maybe tomorrow, Izaya?" Shizuo really didn't like disappointing Izaya. But, sometimes, it couldn't be helped.

"Shizu-chan..." Izaya whined, "Y-you don't understand I feel... weird... it's horrible..." He was so uncomfortable and hot and... He needed Shizuo to satisfy him.

The blond sighed before shaking his head. "Then you should take a cold shower, Izaya." He really did hate disappointing the other. So, if Izaya kept this up, he might just change his mind.

"I tried..." He mumbled, blushing red, "I tried doing it myself, I tried a cold shower, I tried everything I could think of..."

Shizuo shook his head. "Fine. Come here."

Izaya was there in three seconds flat, and he was already hard too. His temperature had even gone up a degree, making him warmer.

Shizuo cupped the others face before kissing him. Izaya did feel warmer. And he could see the other's erection tenting his pants. Briefly, he wondered if something happened to the raven.

Izaya moaned softly already, his tongue moving to taste Shizuo's tongue hungrily and he pressed his hips into Shizuo's, grinding against the other. If it hadn't been obvious how horny he was before... it was becoming obvious now.

Shizuo let out a light moan as he felt himself slowly harden. Ah... Izaya really was needy, huh? His arms wrapped around Izaya as he moved them so that Izaya's back was on the couch. Then, his hands were up under Izaya's shirt.

Izaya gasped softly but he couldn't have sex with his arms on... the sockets that connected to his body got sticky and sweaty and it was hard on the prosthetics meaning they would have to be replaced sooner.

For the moment, Shizuo had forgotten all about that though. There was just Izaya now.

"Mnn... Sh-Shizuo my arms..." He mumbled between hasty kisses.

The blond just glanced up at Izaya before quickly removing the other's arms. He didn't want to stop right now. So, as soon as the arms were off, his hands were back under the raven's shirt.

For someone who hadn't been in the mood a moment ago he certainly seemed to be now. Izaya grinned all the same, his left stump now resting on Shizuo's shoulder as they kissed, his legs moving to accommodate Shizuo between them though the couch was... complicated.

Really, he had been more tired than not in the mood. So once they started, he just kept going. Now, he pulled away, but only for a moment in order to remove Izaya's shirt. Then, it was back to kissing and the feeling the other up.

Izaya didn't even care right now if Shizuo's shirt and vest came off... so now he used his legs and feet to start moving Shizuo's pants down off his body.

It was then that Shizuo moved so that he could finish removing his pants, as well as his boxers. Let's see... How much did he have to prepare Izaya this time?

"Mmmn... h-hurry..." He whimpered, pressing his hips into Shizuo's now.

"Two... " Izaya still needed some prep, but two should be fine at this point.

Shizuo nodded and held his fingers up to Izaya's lips. He didn't want to go and search for lube. He wanted to stay right here with the raven.

Izaya wanted that too and he opened his mouth, sucking on Shizuo's fingers eagerly.

The blond moaned as he moved his fingers. It felt so nice...

After a bit, he pulled his fingers out. Then, it was time to prepare the other. Two fingers went inside of Izaya. Immediately, they scissored and thrusted.

Izaya whined in pleasure, his eyes sliding shut and his hips shifting to accommodate Shizuo better. They hadn't had sex on the couch before... Izaya had to admit, he was finding he liked doing it on different pieces of furniture.

As for Shizuo... He didn't care where he'd do it with Izaya, as long as it was with Izaya. After the two fingers stretched Izaya for a couple minutes, the third went in.

Izaya gasped and swallowed, feeling really damn good at this point... and he wanted more... his body felt like liquid fire at this point.

Shizuo's other hand moved up to one of the raven's nipples, and played with it as he prepared Izaya.

Then, he withdrew his hand, in order to place it on Izaya's hip. Shizuo lined up and pushed in. As always, he waited, to make sure it was alright for Izaya.

Izaya was fine though... better than fine, he felt high... "M-move!" He begged, his hips moving a little.

The blond chuckled lightly before doing just that. He also moved so that he was kissing Izaya's neck, and his hands were feeling Izaya. God... He loved this man so much.

"Mmm~ Mmmnnn~!" He moaned, his hips bucking up to meet Shizuo's with each thrust already.

It caused Shizuo to moan. Izaya's horniness was getting to him. This was great. So great. His thrusts picked up a bit of speed as he searched for that one spot inside of Izaya.

Izaya nearly screamed in delight when Shizuo found it, his words abandoning him now as they moved.

The blond let out another moan. Oh... This was amazing. It always was, with Izaya. Eventually, he could feel his release. It was close. Oh... But he didn't want it to end.

Izaya didn't either but at the same time... this was his favourite part. He fought it anyways as long as he could before coming against their abdomens a bit messily.

Shizuo let out yet another low moan. But he didn't come just yet. Not until he had thrusted inside of Izaya a few more times. Then, it was over.

Shizuo smiled lightly as he pulled out of the raven. It was always good. "... I love you."

Izaya grinned widely, completely relaxed now that he had been given what he needed, "Love you too~ and thank you... Shizu-chan~" The blonde could have held his ground on the 'no' after all.

Shizuo kissed Izaya lightly. "It was nothing, Izaya." Now, he got off the couch and lifted Izaya up. "Let's take a bath before bed. One of us can clean the couch up in the morning."

Izaya giggled, "Mmmn~, yeah... sounds good~" He purred, nuzzling Shizuo's neck. He wasn't sure what had gotten into him earlier but now he felt fine... better than fine actually.

The blond smiled. And soon, they had had their bath and were in bed. One of Shizuo's arms was wrapped around Izaya as he kept him close. "Good night."

"Good night~" Izaya murmured.


End file.
